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Three roommates paid a visit to a
guidance counselor. Each girl was in
needed to figure out how to pursue their
interests, so they took the logical step
to find out.
The counselor asked each of the girls
their area of interest they wanted to
pursue.
The first girl replied, “I want to
pursue being a success.”
The second girl said, “I want to pursue
happiness.”
Girl number three claimed, “I want to
learn how to please people.”
After listening to their replies, the
counselor sat back in his chair and
scratched his head with a sigh. “Well
now, you all have very big ambitions and
seem equally enthusiastic and committed
to them.
However, I would like you each to
reconsider your pursuits, because the
one’s you’ve chosen are quite
ambiguous.”
Success Girl and Happiness Girl can’t
understand why the counselor wants to
dissuade them from their chosen
pursuits. “Why can’t we pursue our
interests?” they asked.
“The answer is quite simple,” responded
the counselor. “You don’t find success,
success finds you. You don’t find
happiness, happiness finds you.
You see girls, success and happiness are
the byproducts of the thing you choose
to do. You do things that may lead to
success, you do things in life that give
you joy, and if you’re lucky—success and
happiness will find you. All you can do
is prepare yourself so you improve the
odds that you’ll be found by success and
happiness.”
Meanwhile, girl number three isn’t
feeling real confident after hearing the
counselor’s response to her roommates.
So, she asked, “Doesn’t everyone want to
learn how to please people, after all,
isn’t that what people expect—to be
pleased?”
The counselor responded, “No, not
everyone wants to be pleased, in some
cases, people pleasers are despised for
not having a mind of their own. Being
kind and considerate is one
thing—however, pleasing people is the
equivalent of diving into a black hole.
You have no idea what may please people
from moment to moment. And, even if you
did—you’d have to do it in a way that
they could receive it—they would have to
want it—and it would have to serve a
purpose or meet a need. Pleasing people
is a lost art form, and should remain
so. If you do anything, you may try to
strive for conscientiousness, but that’s
the most you can hope for.
Here’s the deal when it comes to
pleasing. You can only please people by
being yourself—which you’ll find more
pleasing to yourself as well. After all,
even if you could, and did, please other
people, what’s the payoff? Often
pleasing others is more about our own
issues regarding conflict avoidance,
than about pleasing others. So, settle
down, and be yourself.”
V.P. Mosser
©2001-2008 V.P. Mosser
You're welcome to use this article in
your Ezine or website as long as you
include this blurb.
Successful entrepreneur, V.P. Mosser is
the creator of the Learn the Lessons
Series, the Life's Journey publication
and numerous thought-provoking articles.
To learn more and receive free chapters
or issues, visit http://www.learnthelessons.com
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